Happy is Wrong
by MeredithBrody
Summary: After losing Savannah, Pride just needs to give some support to LaSalle. (prompt oneshot series)(mild Prody)


**So this came about somewhat randomly. It's a little bonding fic set after the finale. It's pretty angsty though. This is similar to the advice I was giving after my friend Anton died, and almost 7 years on I can think about Anton with good cheer. So I suppose in a roundabout way, this is dedicated to Anton, who died 19/7/08. I miss you bro. As always, please read and review.  
Shin xx**

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" _ **No, it isn't after the kind of ordeal you went through, happy is wrong, this is how you're supposed to feel, your brains all jumbled up trying to sort things out. Try to roll with it, let it do what it needs to do, just let it flow like a river."**_ **Marshall Mann 'In Plain Sight'**

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Dwayne Pride knew that the events of the last month had changed his old friend. He knew that Christopher LaSalle would never be the same as he had been a month ago. A month earlier he had been excited to be planning a future with Savannah, and thinking about all the things they could look forward to. Now all that had been torn away from him, and Pride had no idea what to do.

Stood beside him in the archway was his other agent, and things had changed for them too. Their change had been far more positive, and caused by the same thing that had changed Christopher's life. While Baitfish had stopped his life in its tracks, it had pushed him and Brody to admit how they felt about each other. Watching Christopher he realised that he had no idea how to fix this. "He hasn't been himself the last couple of weeks."

"He's grieving, he misses Savannah." Brody replied, and maybe she had a better idea of how LaSalle felt. Sure she hadn't lost a partner, she'd arguably lost something closer than that. She had lost her twin, and that was a closer relationship than most people would have with their spouse. But when she'd been confronted with the memory of Emily's death, he'd been able to help a lot easier. "He'll get there."

"Yeah." Pride knew that he would. But he couldn't stop thinking about how much easier it seemed when it was Brody. He wasn't that he knew Brody better, as at the time he hadn't. She just hadn't seemed as hopeless as Christopher seemed right now. "You were easier to fix when grieving."

"I had 8 years of adjusting." That made sense, though he knew that she'd run for most of the first 8 years after Emily's death. He knew that since settling her in New Orleans she'd made some tentative steps toward reconnecting with her parents and other things. As they both kept watching LaSalle she leant against him lightly. "I cried a fair amount I remember."

"Really? I don't remember that." He thought he'd watched her closely in the aftermath of that situation, and the ensuing investigation. He'd tried to keep an eye on her at least. It hadn't always worked, but he'd tried his hardest.

"I didn't do it where you could see me." She replied, and while that made sense he wasn't happy. She had bottled so much up over the years that it wasn't healthy that she hid herself away like that. She should have let him help her.

"Meredith." He chastised lightly. Even back then he wouldn't have wanted her crying alone. He would have wanted to try and help her, and keep an eye on her. He hated the thought of her sat all alone, feeling like there was nobody in the world who cared about her. He cared, and he had since the moment they met.

She pushed him lightly, and he remembered how he knew she was perfect for this time. She had tried to be sarcastic to him after they'd barely known each other for 24 hours. She kept that going now, but she was more forceful. "Go talk to him, King." She said, and while Pride knew she was right, he was worried.

"I don't know what to say." He admitted. He could talk to families of victims, and anyone who had a big loss, but he couldn't think of what to say to his friend. He had no idea what Merri had said, and in the truth of the matter, he was not at all sure how he was feeling. He couldn't even start to think about it.

"Whatever you say will be right. Trust me." She spoke from the heart, then leant up and kissed him. He felt a little bolstered by her encouragement. He did trust her, with his life, and so much more. He just kept looking at her, waiting for the rest of her thought, knowing it was coming. "Just talk. It was enough for me."

"Okay." He admitted. Steeling himself. He liked Brody's hand on his back as she walked back into the office. He trusted her to keep everything going while he tried to talk to LaSalle. It was time.

He walked across the courtyard where LaSalle had been sitting. He was staring at the medallion, on the chain that Pride knew had been Emily's. He'd seen Brody wear that under her clothes almost every day since she'd arrived. "Hey, space for another?"

"Sit wherever you like." There was bitterness and finality to LaSalle's tone, and it was obvious that he wasn't all that happy about being interrupted from whatever her was thinking about. Not that Pride entirely blamed him.

"How you doing?" That was a stupid question, but there was no other way to say it. If there was he would use it, but there wasn't. He needed to know that his long-time was feeling OK, and that he wasn't struggling with anything right now.

"I know you tried to make me happy King, but I'm just not. I should be though, but I'm not. I feel like I'm everything all at once." Pride had no idea what that meant. He didn't blame LaSalle for not feeling happy. He wasn't sure he could feel happy in his situation. "Sad, angry, pained, broken."

"No I think you're supposed to feel like that." He admitted, and LaSalle's head snapped up. That was probably better than the bitter indifference he'd had to this point. Maybe that was where the problem was. LaSalle had nowhere he could truly let go.

"King?" LaSalle asked, clearly more than a little surprised at what Pride had said. He stuck by it. He didn't think that LaSalle should be anything less confused about his feelings ove Savannah's death. If the whole team were still reeling from it, or course LaSalle was.

"Christopher, after what you went through. Losing Savannah." He trailed off, he didn't want to make light of Savannah's loss, or make it sound like forgetting her was the only option. He shouldn't forget Savannah. He should carry her with him. "Feeling happy probably feels wrong, your brain is trying to work things out, and it's all jumbled up in the meantime."

"How do you know?" That was a fair and valid question. Pride didn't know exactly what LaSalle was going. But he had experienced loss, and he knew that it could cut deep, and it hurt even being on the sidelines like this.

"I've lost close friends, and I've helped people deal with losses like yours." That was the simplest, and politest, explanation. He didn't want to sell Brody out, especially when he knew LaSalle didn't yet know all the ins and outs of what had happened to Emily Brody.

There was a scoffing noise and Pride realised that LaSalle was writing off those experiences, and maybe he had reason to be. "That's work." LaSalle said a second later, and Pride realised his thought had been right. It hadn't all been work, some of it had, but not all.

"Not all work. The point is Chris, you need to roll with how your mind feels, let it flow out of you." That was the same with any type of loss. He had learnt that a very long time ago, and to this day it was among the best advice he could offer to anyone. "Eventually you will get to a point where it doesn't hurt anymore. Where you can remember the good."

"I can't imagine that." LaSalle replied, and that wasn't all that surprising. It was still too close, too painful, for him to think about being able to remember the happy times. He would get there though, just like Brody had said a few minutes earlier. "I miss her King. I miss her laugh, and her teasing me."

"You probably always will. But for now you need to focus on what little good there is. That's what Savannah would want." He had only met the girl a couple of times, but he was already sure that that would be what Savannah wanted. She'd want LaSalle to be happy.

"You're right. I know that. I'm just not there yet." LaSalle admitted as a hand came on both their shoulders. He felt Brody squeeze then dropped away, standing just to his side. He didn't need to look at her to know she was looking between the two of them.

"We'll be here when you are LaSalle, both of us." Brody's hand slipped into his as she sat on his other side. He sat there with his two agents and knew that while everything was changing, and they all felt a little less safe, there was still one constant. They had each other, and they weren't going to let another flounder. He looked between the two of them and was reminded that he was home. He was with his family.


End file.
